Within my closet do skeletons languish
They be not misdeeds but the seeds of my anguish
Stagnant skeletons breed lies- that root my despair
Till my breathing is so heavy, I could drown in the air…
My mind taunts me
Your memory haunts me
Must I wallow in long gone memories?
For they be my sole source of serenity…
Or must I live in loving memory of you
Though the sorrow is more, and good times be too few?
But what would one consider
as truly strong?
That which withstands time, or changes along?
They say, ’tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all…
Though pain is profound, what hurts the most
Is the alter-thought – what if Ignorance was Bliss after all…
My eyes see the light of the night around
But ‘tis your features where my mind abounds
Sleepless nights beckon:
A cold hard pillow attempts take your place, but
My imagination cannot fill those flawless features in your face
Cotton caresses, but I feel not the softness of your touch
In fact, these reminders are why I miss you so much…
If a heart had a voice, mine would cry out in agony
As a crown of thorns strangles it, yet within me
The music of your voice, like heaven’s harp it binds me
Your golden-brown hair, like the sun it blinds me
All I feel through your look is the warmth in your eyes
And my world falls away, in a painkiller high
The winds have blown over now; I know not where you lie
Deprived of you, a lost soul- helpless am I
They say-
“You don’t know what you have, until you lose it”
Thence you breathe fire on it- use it, abuse it
Respite you refuse it
Till all is lost. Then realize, at the end of your wit,
“You do know what you have, just didn’t know you could lose it”
If I could hold you just once
but forevermore,
The whole world’s wrath wouldn’t let me let you go
My adopted brother, Jespa, was a year younger than me but bigger, more street-smart, and very protective. He was born under our stairs on 22 June 1991 and died on 25 May 2004 when I was on holiday (this hit me in 2023 when watching Bridge to Terabithia). Over those 13 years, he taught me that there are many ways to be, and I could make my own personality if I was just curious enough to explore it. He was an alpha who wasn’t afraid of emotion – comfortable with unrestrained happiness and unconditional puppy love. He got into fights and didn’t trust strangers but always shook hands with new friends. We found out that any food can be tasty if you’re hungry enough, and it’s okay to throw your dignity out the window if the reward is worth it. He taught me to be resilient and move on – from injury, discomfort, loss – to focus on the healing, not the sickness. He forced me to trust my instincts and value nonverbal communication. He’d follow me to any end, but rebelled enough to make me a better leader – trust and respect earned his loyalty more than fear or punishment ever could. But our story isn’t unique. If you’ve had a pet that influenced your life, consider those animals who don’t get a chance. Volunteer, donate, foster, adopt, or even just spread awareness. Live in the now or they’ll die tomorrow.
www.spca.com takes care of our city dwellers
www.iapf.org fights in the field and recruits to the Green Army
www.bornfree.org.uk is conservation focused (and Jespa’s namesake)
www.worldwildlife.org lobbies the politicians
seashepherd.org protects marine life and supports research missions
Stocate helps us support conservation efforts through our daily purchases.
Cute, similar story here.